DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m 8½ months pregnant, and my husband and I are arguing about who should be allowed in the delivery room when I give birth.

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I want only my sister and my mom there along with my husband. He’s the only male I feel comfortable having in the room.

My husband, however, has a completely different idea. He wants his mom, dad, sister and even his grandma in the room.

To me, that’s just way too many people, and I’m not very close with his family.

I’ve tried to explain that giving birth is an intimate experience and that I need to feel as comfortable and supported as possible. I don’t think he fully understands how exposed and emotional I’ll feel during labor. For him, it seems more about making sure his family doesn’t feel left out, but for me, it’s about creating a safe and calm environment.

I want to respect his feelings and include his family in other meaningful ways, but I feel strongly about having only the people I’m most comfortable with in the delivery room.

How can we resolve this in a way that respects both of our perspectives without adding unnecessary stress during such an important time?

— Delivery Room

DEAR DELIVERY ROOM: Ask your doctor to speak to your husband to explain optimal conditions for the health and safety of mom and baby. This should help to reinforce that only the smallest group possible should be present.

Put your foot down on this — it is one decision where the dad does not to get to have a say.

Invite his family to stay in the waiting room until your baby is born.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a sister who is 20 years younger than I am. I’m 30, and she’s only 10 years old.

Because of this huge age gap, we’ve never really had a chance to bond or develop a close relationship. While I love her dearly, every time it’s just the two of us, the conversation feels forced and awkward.

I don’t think either of us is necessarily to blame. She’s so much younger, and we’re at completely different stages in life, but it leaves me feeling sad and disconnected.

I go to visit her and my parents often so that we have plenty of opportunities to become closer, but sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever have the kind of sibling bond I’ve seen other people enjoy with their brothers or sisters. I want to find ways to relate to her better and make her feel comfortable around me, but I don’t know where to start.

She’s my only sibling, and the thought of us not being close upsets me. How can I help us become closer in our relationship so that we have a stronger bond in the future?

— Sibling Disconnect

DEAR SIBLING DISCONNECT: Your sister is a child, and you do not live together, so you will not have much in common now. Don’t look for that. Instead, be with her when you are together.

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Listen to her. Invite her to share her world with you. Find out what interests her. Try to remember what you cared about at her age. Share appropriate connecting stories as you remember them.

Expose her to your world. What do you like to do that might interest her? Arts activities, music, books? Show her who you are as she does the same for you.

Allow your relationship to grow naturally. She may seem more like a daughter or niece than a sister for a few years, but that’s fine too.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.